Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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