Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
why do cheetos always look like penises
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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