Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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