plz talk dirty to me
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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