You just made me feel so damn special
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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