So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
