It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You took a bar mat shot.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
