I skipped work to stalk him.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
