He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
