i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
