She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
