Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
