Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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