I'm really into asian looking animals
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize