1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
