And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
