These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize