I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
