who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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