How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
