got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
