There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
