were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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