well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
