It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
