IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
