I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my liver is dry heaving
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
