i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
