he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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