Dual....:-)
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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