He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
