Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
