Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
