I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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