Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
