I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
