She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
