I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
