Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
