Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
