operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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