i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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