So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
