hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
love makes seman taste better
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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