can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
two words...techno handjob
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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