Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she told me i tasted like america
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize