carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
