Sry I called you an 8
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
