Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
