peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
