There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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