My balls are so social today.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
