i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
