Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
