I smell stomach acid.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
