Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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