you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
