dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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