Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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