So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Randomize
