I think I won the penis lottery.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
