Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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