Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize