I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
as a side note pls kill me
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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