I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im holly from the hills drunk
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
