just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
