hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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