oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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