Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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