The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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